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Our Baby is Born

Jennifer and I are proud to announce the birth of our baby daughter, Avery Elizabeth Foran, on January 19^th 2009. She was born 8 pounds, 8 ounces, at 10:24 PM, at the Queensway Carleton Hospital here in Ottawa.

Here is my recollection of the day:

Although we were past the due date, and we knew that the baby could be coming any day, when we woke up last Monday we saw no signs of what was to come. In fact, I went to work expecting a normal day, except for our midwife appointment at 11:15 AM. At the midwife appointment, our midwife, Sharon Dean, and another midwife did a “stretch and sweep procedure”, and during this Jen’s water broke. This meant that the birth was imminent.

We headed for home, got our stuff and then went to the hospital. I was of course anxious, but Jen wasn’t in any discomfort (yet). Finding and getting into the Birthing Unit definitely didn’t do anything helpful for my stress. It’s pretty far from the entrance, and it’s locked down like Fort Knox, requiring that you pick up a phone and identify yourself before they let you in. I couldn’t get the door open and had to use the phone several times, feeling a bit like an idiot.

Once inside, we met up with Sharon, our midwife, and got things started. Because Jen tested positive for Group B Streptococcus, she had to go on antibiotics before the birth. This was administered by IV, along with the hormone Oxytocin , which was used to control the onset of labour.

By about 5:00 PM, things were starting to get rolling. Jen was starting to experience contractions and some discomfort. The contractions were about 5 minutes apart at this point. We called Megan, whom Jen had requested to be her secondary birth coach, as it was anticipated that I would either pass out or have low blood sugar. We also called my Mom, who also came to the hospital. My Mom was very supportive of me and I really appreciated that she was there. I have deep regret that, due to somewhat Nazi-ish rules at the hospital, Mum wasn’t able to be there for the actual birth.

As the evening progressed, Jen began to experience more powerful and more frequent contractions, and quite a bit of pain. She coped admirably and didn’t request any pain management, apart from the TENS unit that had been in operation since shortly after she got into the bed. I was tasked with operating the controls in response to the pain. We tried several positions, including the much talked about “sneak attack with WD-40” position, but that one didn’t do a whole lot of good.

I’m not sure of the exact time, but around 9:45 PM Jen started to experience what appeared to me to be extreme pain, and she also had desire to start pushing. Everything up to the point was pretty good and I’m thankful didn’t last a whole lot of time. Megan and I just did our best to provide Jen with any comfort and encouragement that we could. From here on though, things got rough and made this, by far, the most stressful night of my life. In the description that follows, I may have some facts wrong as I got pretty emotional.

Around the time that pushing started, Avery’s heart rate started to drop, indicating that she was under stress. Sharon indicated that this is not uncommon and that it didn’t indicate an immediate emergency, but it was a large concern as a baby can’t persist in this state for very long.

Shortly after, the heart rate was lost entirely. This was hopefully just an equipment problem, but this is when I got really scared. Jen was in so much pain by this time that I doubt that she really knew everything that was going on. She was focused on her task at hand, and she did an excellent job of it. At this point there was also some kind of problem with the IV. Although the plan was for Sharon to deliver the baby, a doctor and some nurses were called in. When Dr. Honey came in she identified herself to us and briefly explained the situation and what she was doing about it. Although there was a steeply elevated urgency in the room, Dr. Honey’s voice was calm and reassuring. I felt better, bit it didn’t last long.

Avery’s heart rate was once again found, this time using a probe that was inserted up the birth canal, and directly to Avery’s head. Unfortunately the situation was still bad and my memory of the situation was extreme panic. Everyone in the room was pretty stressed. I remember Dr. Honey saying “This baby needs to come out now!” She first tried vacuum and that didn’t work, then she moved on to using forceps. I was shocked by the amount of force that she was using on the forceps, and this, coupled with the sense of urgency, made me very, very scared. I cannot describe how scared and worried. My mind was racing with scenarios of what could happen. I felt nauseous and sick; I probably would have thrown up had I not calmed myself. I had to keep it together for Jen. I stayed by her side, holding her hand and encouraging her. As the doctor pulled on the forceps I screamed to Jen to push, and push she did. Her face waas beet red and blood vessels were rupturing in her face and upper body. Particularly alarming was the white of her eyes being replaced with large amounts of deep red. Megan held her leg in position and watched Avery’s head in the forceps. I never saw any of this. I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not, because it allowed my mind to paint its own picture. Although the situation was definitely not good, I know believe that much of my panic was probably unwarranted. Many babies are born with forceps and birth is never easy.

I did everything I could to encourage Jen. Her pain was surely incredible. Eventually though Avery came out. She was rushed immediately to the warming bed and her condition was assessed. There was no “Do you want to cut the cord?”, pictures, or time with Mum. It was clear that the hospital staff was worried about her condition. I stayed with Jen. There was tons of blood and there was no way that I could abandon her side after what she’d just been through. I told her that if I was covered in 500 pounds of bricks, that she’s be the one that I’d want to lift them off of me. Before this day, I had no idea at all of her strength, tenacity and resilience. What she did will be a memory of inspiration to me for the rest of my life. Of that I am sure.

When babies are born their condition is graded using a variety of criteria and a rough score is given. It was truly a miracle, but Avery had a great score, despite everything that had gone on. Evidently she has her mother’s resilience.

Under midwife care, you can leave the hospital about 3 hours after giving birth. This had been our intention, and getting back to the comfort of home sooner was one of the benefits that we saw in having a midwife. Our situation warranted a longer stay however.

Things started calming down as Jen was stitched up. Megan took a few pictures of us and Avery. I was surprised that Jen was able to hold her after what she’d experienced. I guess her excitement to meet Avery gave her a second round of strength.

Through the night, Avery had some choking on mucous and some breathing problems. She spent most of the night at the nursing station under observation, as breathing problems are a great concern. Fortunately, the problem cleared pretty quickly.

We stayed in the hospital until the next afternoon. We had a few minor problems over the last week, including some feeding problems and jaundice. These were solved by getting a lactation consultant and by following a strict regime of feedings, that haven’t left much time for anything else, including sleep. My Mom has been nice enough to help by looking after Avery a bit, preparing meals and cleaning. Thanks Mum!

Fortunately, at the one week mark, I’m very happy to say that it’s all good, and we’re starting to get more sleep. I deeply enjoy holding my daughter, talking and singing to her, and wondering what she will be like. She is fantastic, and Jen and I have had nothing but the deepest respect for each other. We are operating as a great team. I’m so proud of our family.